I took Corbin to see your grave site yesterday for the first time. He had his first well check up, which went great, so we thought we would stop on the way home to see you. I told you that I didn't even know if you could hear me or if I was talking to the dirt, but I gave you the rundown on Corbin's big surprise to us all. Is it crazy that I actually talk out loud to you? You seemed to handle your parents' deaths so well, and I feel like a basket case. What did you do differently? I don't want to stop thinking about you and I definitely don't want Cadence to stop asking about you, but it hurts every time I do and every time she does.
Even typing this out gives me an ache in my heart that I have to suppress before it takes me over. I've gone back and forth on whether or not I should call my doctor and tell them I don't know if my pain is "normal" or if its taking too much control over me. I know if you were here you would tell me to deal with it, but sometimes I feel like I just can't.
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